Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Papal Wisdom, Pius XI Casti Conubii
Part 3b: Modern Societies Attack on Marriage
Conjugal Faith
While separating into sections certain attacks on marriage, it is here where the majority of modern societies errors on marriage are found. It comes from a false understanding of sex, of the roles of husband and wife, and the love that binds them. We shall examine these errors in this posting.
There are many implications to such a perverse view of marriage here that I think are worth noting. First is the idea that third parties can be within marriage, presumably for mainly sexual reasons. If such a view is really taken, why should we even have marriage? Why not just skip marriage and go straight to the sex? Which indeed is what we are seeing. Yet such a view is very counterproductive to man's best interests. It replaces the law of give with the law of get. Society never functions best when in the end, man does something for entirely selfish needs. If one shouldn't save sex for marriage, certainly relationships will be nothing, but just merely "hooking up" as we see so commonly in today's society. Marriage no longer comes for the raising of children, as that is viewed as an accident of satisfying their urges. Hence, one will certainly not dedicate as much of their time to children, if they choose to have them at all. As a result, the child learns no order and stability, and hence that decays society all the more. Our actions most certainly have dire consequences.
A common error that Leo XIII picked up, and Pius XI expounds upon, is the false notion that just because two people have equal rights in one area, that this means they are equal in responisibilities, and actions. When I was captain of my hockey team, I certainly didn't feel as if those players around me were inferior. Indeed, I was blessed to have such a cohesive unit. Yet if one of the other players started asserting that since we were equal, all of a sudden he should make all decisions on an equal level with everyone else, and play the same roles as everyone else, certainly this would be a problem.
Or another analogy to consider is St. Paul's discourse in Sacred Scripture in 1st Corinthians on the different charisms and roles in the Church. Each person had an equality in dignity, and this dignity could not be taken from them. Yet Paul displayed the true versatility of the Church, in that each person had a very distinct role. To one an apostle, to another a teach, another a shepherd, another the gift of tounges, to another the interpretation of those tounges. Each person had a very distinct role, in order to make the Church work. The same goes with marriage. While husband and wife are equal in dignity and rights, each one has very specific responisibilites. To assert otherwise is to hold an individualistic style, and such marriage, which is truly a joint effort, cannot function. Furthermore, marriage is an act of service on both sides. The husband serves by being the leader of that family. There is not one leader who is not a servant. St. Peter, our first Pope, spoke to fellow bishops as a "fellow elder", while the Pontiff, he came down their level to serve them in his leadership. One cannot lead unless one effectively serves those who he leads. This could be the entire teaching of Christ in a nutshell, He wanted to make effective leadership through service. Likewise, just as the Church serves Christ by her submission to Christ, the wife serves the husband by her willing and joyful submission to him. She helps him to be an effective leader, strengthens him, strengthens his message. When the leader of that unit is in peril, he can always count on her to help him. That is true submission on both sides. For one side to neglect these responsibilites leads to a weakening of the bond that is marriage.
A truly prophetic statement indeed. Under the guise of woman's liberation, they have become worse off than before in the slavery they attempted to rebel against. By being independent and throwing off traditional norms of modesty, women are nowadays little better than objects, their bodies being the only thing a man really looks at. In that spirit of liberation, nobody truly notices the spirit of that liberated woman. Under the guise of sexual freedom, the woman becomes the sexual servant of the man, who simply seeks to gratify his lusts and urges, certainly not love. As Dr. Laura once noted, an immodest man before had to at least wine and dine the girl, nowadays he just shows up to her house and gets sex. There's certainly no need to build any relationship, why should he, he is just getting what he wants. What man would want to serve such a woman who cares little for the welfare of others, only the "liberation" of herself? Hence he stops looking to serve the woman, and instead serves his darker desires. The liberation of women destroys the dignity of the men that would in other instances pursue her as well. Children no longer receive a mothers unconditional love, forming them into better people as well, since the mother has no need for children, as they get in the way of her career. (As the disgusting article in the New York Times Magazine demonstrated of a woman who "selectively reduced", i.e. killed two of her three triplets as three children would get in the way of her own selfish desires.)
There are those in their perversities who attempt to still cling onto marriage while applying the selfish notions listed above. Since true love cannot form based on selfishness, the love is replaced by either sympathy, or a mutual need for each other. When those things pass, they reason their marriage is no longer convienent for advancing themselves, hence they should dissolve marriage. This is why one should be very careful to enter into the married state, as it is not something that one backs out of. The love must be true, and be the solid foundation of any marriage. That love comes only from God. Therefore, the spouses should be in deep prayer together, both trusting in the roles God has given them. That love will grow as it is the result of God's sacrament, which we shall cover in our next installment.
Part 3b: Modern Societies Attack on Marriage
Conjugal Faith
While separating into sections certain attacks on marriage, it is here where the majority of modern societies errors on marriage are found. It comes from a false understanding of sex, of the roles of husband and wife, and the love that binds them. We shall examine these errors in this posting.
It follows therefore that they are destroying mutual fidelity, who think that the ideas and morality of our present time concerning a certain harmful and false friendship with a third party can be countenanced, and who teach that a greater freedom of feeling and action in such external relations should be allowed to man and wife, particularly as many (so they consider) are possessed of an inborn sexual tendency which cannot be satisfied within the narrow limits of monogamous marriage. That rigid attitude which condemns all sensual affections and actions with a third party they imagine to be a narrowing of mind and heart, something obsolete, or an abject form of jealousy, and as a result they look upon whatever penal laws are passed by the State for the preserving of conjugal faith as void or to be abolished. Such unworthy and idle opinions are condemned by that noble instinct which is found in every chaste husband and wife, and even by the light of the testimony of nature alone, -- a testimony that is sanctioned and confirmed by the command of God:"Thou shalt not commit adultry," and the words of Christ: "Whosoever shall look on a woman to lust after her hath already committed adultery with her in his heart." The force of this divine precept can never be weakened by any merely human custom, bad example or pretext of human progress, for just as it is the one and the same "Jesus Christ, yesterday and to-day and the same for ever," so it is the one and the same doctrine of Christ that abides and of which no one jot or tittle shall pass away till all is fulfilled.
There are many implications to such a perverse view of marriage here that I think are worth noting. First is the idea that third parties can be within marriage, presumably for mainly sexual reasons. If such a view is really taken, why should we even have marriage? Why not just skip marriage and go straight to the sex? Which indeed is what we are seeing. Yet such a view is very counterproductive to man's best interests. It replaces the law of give with the law of get. Society never functions best when in the end, man does something for entirely selfish needs. If one shouldn't save sex for marriage, certainly relationships will be nothing, but just merely "hooking up" as we see so commonly in today's society. Marriage no longer comes for the raising of children, as that is viewed as an accident of satisfying their urges. Hence, one will certainly not dedicate as much of their time to children, if they choose to have them at all. As a result, the child learns no order and stability, and hence that decays society all the more. Our actions most certainly have dire consequences.
The same false teachers who try to dim the luster of conjugal faith and purity do not scruple to do away with the honorable and trusting obedience which the woman owes to the man. Many of them even go further and assert that such a subjection of one party to the other is unworthy of human dignity, that the rights of husband and wife are equal; wherefore, they boldly proclaim the emancipation of women has been or ought to be effected. This emancipation in their ideas must be threefold, in the ruling of the domestic society, in the administration of family affairs and in the rearing of the children. It must be social, economic, physiological: -- physiological, that is to say, the woman is to be freed at her own good pleasure from the burdensome duties properly belonging to a wife as companion and mother (We have already said that this is not an emancipation but a crime); social, inasmuch as the wife being freed from the cares of children and family, should, to the neglect of these, be able to follow her own bent and devote herself to business and even public affairs; finally economic, whereby the woman even without the knowledge and against the wish of her husband may be at liberty to conduct and administer her own affairs, giving her attention chiefly to these rather than to children, husband and family.
A common error that Leo XIII picked up, and Pius XI expounds upon, is the false notion that just because two people have equal rights in one area, that this means they are equal in responisibilities, and actions. When I was captain of my hockey team, I certainly didn't feel as if those players around me were inferior. Indeed, I was blessed to have such a cohesive unit. Yet if one of the other players started asserting that since we were equal, all of a sudden he should make all decisions on an equal level with everyone else, and play the same roles as everyone else, certainly this would be a problem.
Or another analogy to consider is St. Paul's discourse in Sacred Scripture in 1st Corinthians on the different charisms and roles in the Church. Each person had an equality in dignity, and this dignity could not be taken from them. Yet Paul displayed the true versatility of the Church, in that each person had a very distinct role. To one an apostle, to another a teach, another a shepherd, another the gift of tounges, to another the interpretation of those tounges. Each person had a very distinct role, in order to make the Church work. The same goes with marriage. While husband and wife are equal in dignity and rights, each one has very specific responisibilites. To assert otherwise is to hold an individualistic style, and such marriage, which is truly a joint effort, cannot function. Furthermore, marriage is an act of service on both sides. The husband serves by being the leader of that family. There is not one leader who is not a servant. St. Peter, our first Pope, spoke to fellow bishops as a "fellow elder", while the Pontiff, he came down their level to serve them in his leadership. One cannot lead unless one effectively serves those who he leads. This could be the entire teaching of Christ in a nutshell, He wanted to make effective leadership through service. Likewise, just as the Church serves Christ by her submission to Christ, the wife serves the husband by her willing and joyful submission to him. She helps him to be an effective leader, strengthens him, strengthens his message. When the leader of that unit is in peril, he can always count on her to help him. That is true submission on both sides. For one side to neglect these responsibilites leads to a weakening of the bond that is marriage.
This, however, is not the true emancipation of woman, nor that rational and exalted liberty which belongs to the noble office of a Christian woman and wife; it is rather the debasing of the womanly character and the dignity of motherhood, and indeed of the whole family, as a result of which the husband suffers the loss of his wife, the children of their mother, and the home and the whole family of an ever watchful guardian. More than this, this false liberty and unnatural equality with the husband is to the detriment of the woman herself, for if the woman descends from her truly regal throne to which she has been raised within the walls of the home by means of the Gospel, she will soon be reduced to the old state of slavery (if not in appearance, certainly in reality) and become as amongst the pagans the mere instrument of man.
A truly prophetic statement indeed. Under the guise of woman's liberation, they have become worse off than before in the slavery they attempted to rebel against. By being independent and throwing off traditional norms of modesty, women are nowadays little better than objects, their bodies being the only thing a man really looks at. In that spirit of liberation, nobody truly notices the spirit of that liberated woman. Under the guise of sexual freedom, the woman becomes the sexual servant of the man, who simply seeks to gratify his lusts and urges, certainly not love. As Dr. Laura once noted, an immodest man before had to at least wine and dine the girl, nowadays he just shows up to her house and gets sex. There's certainly no need to build any relationship, why should he, he is just getting what he wants. What man would want to serve such a woman who cares little for the welfare of others, only the "liberation" of herself? Hence he stops looking to serve the woman, and instead serves his darker desires. The liberation of women destroys the dignity of the men that would in other instances pursue her as well. Children no longer receive a mothers unconditional love, forming them into better people as well, since the mother has no need for children, as they get in the way of her career. (As the disgusting article in the New York Times Magazine demonstrated of a woman who "selectively reduced", i.e. killed two of her three triplets as three children would get in the way of her own selfish desires.)
These enemies of marriage go further, however, when they substitute for that true and solid love, which is the basis of conjugal happiness, a certain vague compatibility of temperament. This they call sympathy and assert that, since it is the only bond by which husband and wife are linked together, when it ceases the marriage is completely dissolved. What else is this than to build a house upon sand?
There are those in their perversities who attempt to still cling onto marriage while applying the selfish notions listed above. Since true love cannot form based on selfishness, the love is replaced by either sympathy, or a mutual need for each other. When those things pass, they reason their marriage is no longer convienent for advancing themselves, hence they should dissolve marriage. This is why one should be very careful to enter into the married state, as it is not something that one backs out of. The love must be true, and be the solid foundation of any marriage. That love comes only from God. Therefore, the spouses should be in deep prayer together, both trusting in the roles God has given them. That love will grow as it is the result of God's sacrament, which we shall cover in our next installment.
